The Dangers of Flattery

“He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.” Proverbs 28:23

Reading the above verse this morning reminded me of the deception as well as the destruction of flattery.  We can see that one who uses flattery does not have the other person’s well-being in mind. However, one who is willing to risk a relationship at times by giving timely rebuke is actually demonstrating love toward that individual and will be appreciated in the end. Yes, insincere praise may be pleasing to our flesh, but how much better for us to hear the truth about ourselves…though painful at times.

The definition for flattery (taken from Webster’s 1828 Dictionary) is:

{False praise; commendation bestowed for the purpose of gaining favor and influence, or to accomplish some purpose. Direct flattery consists in praising a person himself; indirect flattery consists in praising a person through his works or his connections.} 

We can also see, from the above definition, that one who uses flattery has an ulterior motive. Our pastor has often said,

“Flattery is not communication, but manipulation.”

How dangerous this false praise can be as it puffs up our heads while spreading a net for our feet!!

“A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:5

From the book of Proverbs, we can read how flattery was one tool used by the strange woman to lure simple men:

“With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.” Proverbs 7:21

In Psalm 5:8,9, we see that flattery was one characteristic of David’s enemies:

“Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face. For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.”

In Psalm 12:3, we can read what the Lord thinks about this manipulative use of words:

“The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips…”  

May we exercise much caution in our speech as we strive to avoid this wickedness. May we also ask the Lord for discernment to deliver us from the snare of flattering lips.

“…a flattering mouth worketh ruin.” Proverbs 26:28

~ Rachel ~