For Those Who Hurt – Part Two – an article by Pastor Terry Coomer

(I received the following article via email back in January. There are hurting people everywhere – if you know of someone that might benefit from this, please prayerfully consider sharing with them. It was written by Pastor Terry Coomer.)

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These messages may be copied in their entirety to help Christians in the rearing of their children for God, strengthening their family, and their marriage. They are not to be changed in any manner or to be sold.  This header must be on any copy.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the author.

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Text: Psalm 37:1-9 “Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.  Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.  And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday.  Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.  For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.” 

Romans 12:17-21 “Recompense to no man evil for evil.  Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord.  Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

 My friend, the gist of Romans 12 is spiritual gifts.  If you get active in using your gifts then that means you will deal with people and when you deal with people you will get hurt.  That is just the way it is. The problem is how does God want us to respond to this kind of thing?  I do want to point out that this is dealing with a Christian person (someone who is saved) dealing with being hurt by another saved person or an unbeliever.  Many Christian families do not serve God today because they have been hurt at some time.  The result of Christian families not dealing with hurt God’s way has had a devastating effect on their lives, their children’s lives, and the church.  Last time we came to the point of seeing that a person has to be emotionally free to be able to do good to their enemy.  How does a person become emotionally free?  Trust God as Psalm 37:3 tells us.

 Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.”

 Folks, you will be hurt when you deal with others.  How does God’s kind of person respond?  God wants us to be God responders not people responders.  That is something that every church and every Christian must learn.  We are to be God responders.  What happens when the average Christian gets hurt?  What do they do?  They call up their nearest Christian friend and that friend fellowships in the hurt with them negatively.  That is the wrong way to handle it.  They will say, “The way you were treated was wrong and they should not have done that.”  Christian, when that happens, are you edifying that believer?  No, what you are doing is giving them additional excuses to live in this way (Bitterness, anger, wrath, and evil).

 Do you know what God wants your response to be?  This is very important for each one of us to understand.  We need to have a Biblical response, because we want to be God’s kind of person, living according to God’s principles.  You could say, “Joe, I know that really hurt you what they did.  I think it would be important for you to respond the way God would like for you to.  I tell you what, I will pray with you in the matter that you will be able to commit it to God and trust Him to handle the situation.”  Now would not that just shock the socks off them?  That is God’s person responding in God’s way.

Psalm 37:1-9 “Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.  Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.  And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday.  Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.”

The fleshly response to hurt is in verse one and eight.  Verse one: 1. Fret 2. Envy. Verse eight: 3. Anger 4. Wrath 5. Evil.  The fret, envy, anger, wrath, evil cycle.  That is the fleshly response.  David here was hurt because it seemed like the evil doers prospered and he could not understand that.  He can respond in one of two ways.  In the flesh, he can fret over the hurt and become envious of the other person etc. (the person who hurt him). This envy leads to anger, which leads to wrath (strong desire to avenge) and when he does that he wants to do evil to that person.  We know that responding by evil is not of God.  We know this is not right, but how many Christians do you know that want to do evil to others because they have been hurt? 

 Romans 12:17; 19 “Recompense to no man evil for evil.  Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord.”

 If you respond God’s way as God’s kind of person, he will take care of you.  That is his promise and that is what he did for David when Saul tried to kill him. 

 Psalm 37: 3-7 “Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.  And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.”

 The spiritual response is found in these verses:

Verse 3 – Trust                                Verse 7 – Rest

Verse 4 – Delight                          Verse 7 – Wait Patiently

Verse 5 – Commit

 Spiritual Response: The Trust, Delight, Commit, Rest, Wait Patiently cycle.  The Flesh Cycle: The Fret, Envy, Anger, Wrath, Evil cycle.

Someone says, “Well Pastor Coomer, Are you telling me that I should be like an old rug and let others beat on me all the time.”  NO!  Because if you do that it will build up like water in a bucket and eventually that bucket will be dumped on someone.  God knows it hurts and he wants you to get out of His way and let Him handle it.  People tell God, “God, they hurt me and I have got to do something about it!

Step 1
Psalm 37: 3 “Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.”
Trust in the Lord – we have talked about His justice, His mercy and who He is.  And until we trust Him, we will not be emotionally free and we cannot do well unto the person who had hurt us.

Step 2
Psalm 37: 4 “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”  Delight means to get emotionally preoccupied with what is going to happen.  When our girls were little and we would travel to Grandma and Grandpa’s house they would get emotionally preoccupied with getting there.  “Are we there yet daddy?”  That is what the word delight means. Isaiah 26:3 “thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

Folks, have you ever stopped to think that the hurt you are experiencing is there so God can receive honor and glory?  Jesus died on the cross.  He suffered hurt for my sins and your sins so we might go to heaven.  God used that hurt to bring honor and glory to himself.  Also, here God is saying you can delight for the person who had hurt you.  God has a specific job to do in his or her life, but God cannot and will not work that way if you are in the way with the fret, envy, anger, wrath, evil cycle.  Have you ever noticed how many times in the Bible God has said if you will do this I will do this? 

 I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Get out of the way and let God work.  You can delight in the Lord with your own life, and that God will receive the honor and glory.  This will work in the life of the one who hurt you and your own life.  If you are fretting, you are not trusting.  And if you are envying you are not delighting.

Step 3

Psalm 37:5 “Commit thy way unto the lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”  “Commit our way,” means our lifestyle lives the way God wants us to live.  Our total life revolves around what God wants.  Here is where Satan will contrive to come at you because you want to stay in control.  You may have to spend many hours on your knees committing this to God.  You may have to go back to God over and over on it.  You may find yourself fretting over it again and becoming envious and angry.  You may have to go back to God many times when you find yourself slipping into the fleshly cycle.  Many times I have had to spend hours on my knees over this.  God has options to deal with this person you never dreamed of.  God always gets His man. Jonah was stubborn and rebellious and God finally had to put him in the belly of the fish for three days and nights.  God got his man and if this person continues to live in rebellion, God just may take him home early. 

I John 5:16-17 “If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death.  There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it.  All unrighteousness is sin: and there is a sin not unto death.”

 If you are an unsaved person and God has been dealing with you about your salvation, I would not put that off.  God may just decide He has dealt long enough with you.  The Bible tells us “now is the accepted time behold now is the day of salvation.” 

Step 4
Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.”  “Rest in the Lord,” means you have it committed to Him and you are ready to jump out of the war and God is in control.

Step 5
Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” “Wait patiently for Him.”  We must learn to wait patiently for God to work in this hurt situation and He has promised to do so.

Psalm 37:9; 11 “For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.  But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.” Notice the word “meek”.  Meekness means waiting upon the Lord.  We have the crazy idea in this day that meekness is weakness.  Friend, this is strong.  A weak person cannot love His enemy.  Patience is the spiritual grace of meekness.  God says give it to me and get out of the way.  Be emotionally free and I will deal with this.

Psalm 37:23, 40 “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.  And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.”  That is God’s promise to you.  Are you a people responder or a God responder?  Is your response that I will want to knock his head off and try to do it?  If you are God’s child, this is not the way He wants you to respond.  Christian, we need to respond to hurt as God’s kind of person.

~ Dr. Terry Coomer

Dr. Terry L. Coomer is the Pastor of Hope Baptist Church, the Director of For the Love of the Family Ministries, and Hope Biblical Counseling Center. He has also served as the Publisher of the nation’s fastest growing daily newspaper. Pastor Coomer holds Family Conferences in the local church. To have a meeting at your church or other needs he may be contacted at (501)983-4403, tlcoomer@juno.com. There are many helpful articles and material on our web site to help you change your life at www.fortheloveofthefamily.com. We serve the God of answers. If you need help finding those answers you may contact us at tlcoomer@juno.com. To be removed from our mailing list send an e-mail to tlcoomer@juno.com.