When The Hearts Of Our Children Have Been Stolen

“Pharoah, the Government and the devil are willing to let us serve God. As long as we don’t take our children with us.” ~ R.B. Ouellette  (Exodus 10:8-11)

The above quote came to my mind this morning as I read in II Samuel of Absalom’s conspiracy to steal the throne from his father, King David. We read Absalom’s scheme for doing so in the following verses:

“And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel. And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee. Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!” II Samuel 15:2-4

From the above verses, we see his tactics –

1. He made himself available to the people – “And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate”

2. He reached out to them – “then Absalom called unto them”

3. He used flattery – “thy matters are good and right”

4. He cast doubt on the people’s real authority – “there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee”

5. He expressed his desire to be a listening ear – “Oh that I were made a judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me”

6. He told them what they wanted to hear – “and I would do him justice”

As we continue to read, we see one final maneuver…

“And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.” II Samuel 15:5

7. He used a tender touch to appeal to their emotions.

The next verse tells us the very intended results of Absalom’s scheme –

“And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” II Samuel 15:6

I realize that at this point you may be wondering what on earth the quote I shared at the beginning of this post has to do with this account of Absalom. I’m glad you asked. 🙂

Satan is out to divide and ultimately destroy families and one major way he is accomplishing this is through our children. The heart of a son or daughter who is still in the home should be toward their parents. The Bible is very clear about that.

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:” Proverbs 1:8

“Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22 

“My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” Proverbs 23:26

“The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.” Proverbs 31:1

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:5,6

Oh, the actual structure of the house may continue on for years while discord within that same home continually weakens the family structure. Satan knows that rebellious children will result in parents with broken hearts – with the end result being a broken family having little to no effect for the cause of Christ.

The quote by Br. Ouellette referred to the following verses that tell of Pharaoh’s refusal to allow the entire families of the Children of Israel to depart from Egypt. When it came down to it, he was willing to let the men leave…but not the vulnerable ones…not the impressionable ones…not the women and children:

“And Moses and Aaron were brought again unto Pharaoh: and he said unto them, Go, serve the LORD your God: but who are they that shall go? And Moses said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we must hold a feast unto the LORD. And he said unto them, Let the LORD be so with you, as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; for evil is before you. Not so: go now ye that are men, and serve the LORD; for that ye did desire. And they were driven out from Pharaoh’s presence.” Exodus 10:8-11

Mommas – do you realize there are “Absaloms” who desire to steal the hearts of our children? Yes, they would like to have entire families…but if they realize that Dad and Mom aren’t budging, they will set their focus on the younger generation. Why? Because our children are still tender. Our young people are at a vulnerable age with very impressionable hearts. “Absaloms” know this. As in the case of Absalom stealing the hearts of the people to overtake his father’s kingdom, the modern-day “Absaloms” desire the opportunity to influence our young people for their profit. This is NOT something that happens overnight. In Absalom’s case, 40 years passed before he actually attempted the overthrow. And all of that time he was stealing hearts “right under his father’s nose” as the saying goes.

As mothers, what are we to do?

We must pray for our children…bathe them in prayer. We must have a very intimate relationship with God through reading His Word and praying. We MUST have discernment concerning those we allow into our children’s lives and the only way we will have that is with a CLOSE relationship with the Lord. We must not be totally dependent on any man to “feed” us spiritually. We must be continually growing in our knowledge of God’s Word. Let me give you an example of how this can prevent stolen hearts.

As we look again at the tactics that Absalom used, we can see where some red flags should have gone up:

1. He made himself available. There’s nothing wrong with that…we should make ourselves available to others.

2. He reached out to others. There’s certainly nothing wrong with reaching out to others. We all need to do this more often.

3. He used flattery. THERE!  RED FLAG! At this point, our radars should come up. I’ve written a couple of articles on this blog on the dangers of flattery but here is just one verse:

“A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:5

I don’t think we should be suspicious of all praise…but I have often heard that we should ignore it to avoid becoming prideful. And in this case, ignoring praise would help protect us from becoming prey. With this in mind (and our radars up), let’s look at #4:

4. He cast doubt on the people’s authority figure. THAT’S IT! This is where we say “goodbye, adios, I’m outa here…”

God established three institutions – The Home, Government, and The Church – and each of these institutions has its own authority figure that answers directly to God. A father answers directly to God for the matters of his home. A government official answers directly to God for that which he governs. A pastor answers directly to God for matters concerning the church he pastors. Concerning our children, any individual who will attempt to undermine the authority figure of the home by placing doubt in a young person’s mind concerning their parents is wrong. Any individual who abuses their relationship with a child through flattery and manipulation and therefore gains the ear of that child instead of pointing them directly back to their parents is wicked. Any individual who tells a young person what they WANT to hear instead of what they NEED to hear (go to your God-given authority) is a modern-day Absalom.

As parents, we desperately need discernment when it comes to those that we allow to influence our children. Modern-day “Absaloms” come in all shapes and sizes and from a variety of sources. From friends to social media to neighbors to ungodly music to boyfriends to family to television to church family to girlfriends to school, etc…it is no mystery that the impressionable hearts of our young people are a prime target.

I do not believe we need to be hermits. I do not believe we need to live in a state of paranoia…and it is not my intention at all to leave that impression. Living in fear is another tactic of Satan and is not God’s will at all for His children:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7

If we are doing our duty as parents by growing as Christians as well as being faithful and obedient to the Lord, then He will be faithful to guide us. The Lord will give us discernment concerning those who not only recognize and hold to their role in our children’s lives but also have a sincere desire to influence them – for the glory of God!

If you are the mother of a child whose heart has been stolen, let me first encourage you, along with your husband, to seek God’s face concerning the matter. You need much discernment to recognize whether or not an “Absalom” has crept into your child’s life unawares. If that is indeed the case, you will then need wisdom on what action you and your husband should take. All of this will require much prayer and maybe even fasting. But, that is no sacrifice at all when it comes to our children, is it?

If your children are already out of the home, I want to encourage you to give them completely to God and continue serving the Lord faithfully. Although your son’s or daughter’s heart may have been stolen “right from under your nose”, in reality, their heart is in the hand of the Lord and He is able to turn the heart of anyone back to Him. Now that’s a comforting thought, isn’t it?

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.” Proverbs 21:1