From my heart - to the unmarried and married with children in the home. “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.”1 Thessalonians 5:21 KJV
Although I am very thankful for my Godly heritage, it would be misleading to attempt to paint my childhood home as “perfect”.
Why?
Because I was raised by imperfect parents.
And so were my children.
And so were you.
And so were your children.
My early years of being a wife and mother reflected my immaturity and even resentment toward my imperfect parents. Instead of striving to stay in the middle of the road by lining up my parenting practices with God’s Word, I jerked the proverbial steering wheel of parenting in order to avoid what I perceived as a parenting ditch by my parents - only to end up in the ditch on the other side of the road. I am certainly not claiming to have “arrived” in this area of parenting but I do believe the Lord has taught me some things in my 37+ years of motherhood.
What am I saying?
If you are a momma with children in the home - or perhaps you are a teen or young adult still unmarried, don’t make the mistake of jerking the steering wheel concerning parenting. If you do, you will end up in the ditch on the other side of the road. Your resentment toward your imperfect parents as well as your pride will blind you to your own faults and poor decisions as a momma.
The verse at the beginning of this post says “prove all things”. Take time to reflect on your childhood. (Even if you were not raised in a Christian home, you can still learn good character qualities from unsaved parents.) See how your upbringing lines up with God’s Word. Of course, in order to do this, you must first be familiar with what His Word says, right? As Christians, the Bible should be our final authority in ALL decisions. If you’re not faithfully studying and obeying God’s Word yourself, you should probably bow out right now on giving parental advice.
The last part of the verse says, “hold fast that which is good”.
Were your parents honest?
Hold fast to that!
Were they dishonest?
Let go of that! Strive to be honest in everything - no matter the cost!
Were your parents hard workers?
Hold fast to that!
Were they slothful?
Let go of that! Strive to be diligent!
Were your parents consistent in the home and out of the home?
Hold fast to that!
Were your parents inconsistent - living a life of double standards?
Let go of that! Strive to live a life of consistency!
Were your parents faithful to take you to church?
Hold fast to that!
Were they negligent in that area?
Let go of that! Strive to be faithful to the house of God with your children!
Were your parents kind and selfless?
Hold fast to that!
Were they self-centered?
Let go of that! Strive to put Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last! (JOY)
Were your parents patient and self-controlled?
Hold fast to that!
Were they easily angered and often out of control?
Let go of that! Strive to, by God’s grace, control your spirit.
Were your parents sensitive and attentive to your needs?
Hold fast to that!
Were they always “too busy”?
Let go of that! Strive to stop and take time for your children.
Were your parents always ready to forgive?
Hold fast to that!
Were they easily offended and bitter?
Let go of that! Strive to avoid bitterness by praying for those who offend and always being ready to forgive.
Were your parents faithful to teach you from God’s Word?
Hold fast to that!
Were they negligent in this area?
Let go of that!
Strive to show your children the importance of God’s Word by your words and example!
Were your parents humble - quick to ask forgiveness?
Hold fast to that!
Were they proud - never admitting wrong?
Let go of that! Strive to live a life of humility!
And the list could go on and on - but I think you get the picture.
One final thought…
Before you take the time to reflect on your childhood, be sure that your heart is right with God.
A proud and bitter spirit will only see the negative.
A humble spirit will see the good and the bad - while considering one’s own weaknesses.
When you finish your time of reflection and begin to make your own parenting resolutions, be sure to do so with the same grace toward your parents as you will desire from your own children one day - as they reflect on their imperfect parents. “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”Ephesians 6:2-3 KJV
“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.”1 Thessalonians 5:21 KJV Although I am very thankful for my Godly heritage, it would be misleading to attempt to paint my childhood home as “perfect”. Why? Because I was raised by imperfect parents. And so were my children. And so were you. And so were your children. My early years of being a wife and mother reflected my immaturity and even resentment toward my imperfect parents. Instead of striving to stay in the middle of the road by lining up my parenting practices with God’s Word, I jerked the proverbial steering wheel of parenting in order to avoid what I perceived as a parenting ditch by my parents - only to end up in the ditch on the other side of the road. I am certainly not claiming to have “arrived” in this area of parenting but I do believe the Lord has taught me some things in my 37+ years of motherhood.
The last part of the verse says, “hold fast that which is good”. Were your parents honest? Hold fast to that! Were they dishonest? Let go of that! Strive to be honest in everything - no matter the cost! Were your parents hard workers? Hold fast to that! Were they slothful? Let go of that! Strive to be diligent! Were your parents consistent in the home and out of the home? Hold fast to that! Were your parents inconsistent - living a life of double standards? Let go of that! Strive to live a life of consistency! Were your parents faithful to take you to church? Hold fast to that! Were they negligent in that area? Let go of that! Strive to be faithful to the house of God with your children! Were your parents kind and selfless? Hold fast to that! Were they self-centered? Let go of that! Strive to put Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last! (JOY) Were your parents patient and self-controlled? Hold fast to that! Were they easily angered and often out of control? Let go of that! Strive to, by God’s grace, control your spirit. Were your parents sensitive and attentive to your needs? Hold fast to that! Were they always “too busy”? Let go of that! Strive to stop and take time for your children. Were your parents always ready to forgive? Hold fast to that! Were they easily offended and bitter? Let go of that! Strive to avoid bitterness by praying for those who offend and always being ready to forgive. Were your parents faithful to teach you from God’s Word? Hold fast to that! Were they negligent in this area? Let go of that! Strive to show your children the importance of God’s Word by your words and example! Were your parents humble - quick to ask forgiveness? Hold fast to that! Were they proud - never admitting wrong? Let go of that! Strive to live a life of humility! And the list could go on and on - but I think you get the picture.
One final thought… Before you take the time to reflect on your childhood, be sure that your heart is right with God. A proud and bitter spirit will only see the negative. A humble spirit will see the good and the bad - while considering one’s own weaknesses. When you finish your time of reflection and begin to make your own parenting resolutions, be sure to do so with the same grace toward your parents as you will desire from your own children one day - as they reflect on their imperfect parents.