Take With You Words
I think most if not all of us would agree on the importance of teaching children to apologize when they have wronged someone else. After all, the Bible does say:
“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”
Proverbs 20:11 KJV
Children should be taught that even they are responsible for their own words and actions. I did it with my children when they were young and I am now observing them teaching their children to say, “I’m sorry.”
But, should not this humbling Biblical principle carry on into adulthood? If children should be expected to acknowledge and confess their wrongdoing to their parents, siblings or little buddies, how much more important is it that adults do the same?
Healing in a relationship is more than just “turning over a new leaf”.
Healing in a relationship requires more than one individual determining in their own mind to “do better”.
Healing involves WORDS to the one we’ve offended:
“O Israel, return unto the Lord thy God; for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity. TAKE WITH YOU WORDS, and turn to the Lord: SAY unto him, Take away all iniquity, and receive us graciously: so will we render the calves of our lips.”
Hosea 14:1-2 KJV
This morning, do we need to “take words” to someone?
Words such as,
“I am sorry for ____.”
“I was wrong.”
“Please forgive me.”
It matters not that the other person is partly or maybe even mostly responsible for the broken relationship. We are only responsible for our part in the matter. Very often, when one individual takes the first step, a hardened heart begins to soften and a sincere apology from the other person is quick to follow. Other times, however, our apology may be received with silence…or possibly anger. We need to approach the situation with much prayer and be prepared for a variety of responses.
In order to avoid discouragement we need to remember that RECEIVING a confession shouldn’t be our motive behind asking for forgiveness. We should desire to do right and clear our own conscience with ZERO expectations from the other party.
(It’s very important to understand that asking for or receiving forgiveness does not always mean a relationship automatically goes back to its healthy state. Very often trust has been broken and must be rebuilt. But that is another topic for another day.)
There may be situations in which we are unsure of what to do. In times like this we need to remember that God knows our hearts. If it is our sincere desire to do our part in restoring a relationship, He will be faithful to give us clear direction if we will only ask Him. (James 1:5)
It was Leonard Ravenhill who said,
“The self-righteous never apologize.”
Has it been awhile since we have offered a sincere, “I am sorry” to someone? If so, we may have a pride problem because, quite frankly, none of us are that perfect. 😉
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed…”
James 5:16 KJV
“And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.”
Acts 24:16 KJV
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV